The Legal Zone (S3:E7) Launching as a Woman Founder: What No One Talks About

Transcript

Host: Regina M. Campbell, Esq., The Campbell Law Group (TCLG)

Guest: Dr. Paola D'Aleman, physician, lifestyle medicine

Introduction

Regina Campbell: Hi, I'm Regina Campbell, the host of The Legal Zone. Today's podcast is brought to you by TCLG, and today we're going to be talking about launching as a woman founder: what no one talks about. I have the pleasure of welcoming Dr. Paola D'Aleman. She's absolutely wonderful, and I'm going to let you hear a little bit about her. We would love to hear your story.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Well, it's a long story, but I'll make it short. I'm a physician. I was born in Colombia. I did medical school in Colombia, but I finished it in Montreal, Canada, and then I did my residency in New York, in pediatrics and adolescent medicine. I practiced that for a good 15 years. But in 2019 I was one of those physicians who needed to reinvent their career, and I started looking for other options.

So now I am a physician who does lifestyle medicine, based on the six pillars of well-being, and I think any human of any age will benefit from that. I'm also board certified in obesity, and I'm Menopause Society certified as well. I take care of the metabolic health of individuals in general. But women's health is my passion, and I guess this is why I'm here as a guest of Regina Campbell.

Regina Campbell: Yes, we thought it was very special, particularly for Women's Month. We celebrate all women, and of course everybody in life, but this is a special month. We want to talk to women about the different trials and tribulations that we go through, which of course includes your health, your lives, your careers, everything. So I thought, what a great perspective. Talk to us a little bit about how you started, because you have a company. You still have a business.

From medicine to entrepreneurship

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: I had to. Yes. In that process of reinventing medicine, I had to go back to our generation. When we finished high school, especially if we came from families where our parents pushed us to be highly academic... I was born in Colombia, so the United States is not my country. So here I am in a different country, in a different environment, but I came from a very academic environment. My parents were very solid about how far my sister and I could go academically and educationally.

What happened back in the 1970s and '80s is that there were the big prestigious careers, right? Either you were a lawyer, you were a doctor, or you were an engineer. Those were the careers that attracted most of us. There was nothing accessible apart from that which would impress our parents or society. It was only a one-dimensional way to go.

So I went through the whole process of years of studying, burning my eyelashes reading books, and through all this process I was very happy with the career that I picked. But we forgot a few things in the process. First, I'm a woman. Even though we are Generation X, not the boomers, who were a little bit more restricted by gender, and the world was a little bit more open, I still came from a third-world country that was maybe a little behind the United States. I wanted to be trained here, but still, I was a woman. Second, it was a career mainly dominated by men. And third, it was restricted and limited by a system. The system changed drastically through all these decades in medicine. All of us healthcare providers can see that, and the patients can see that.

So in the process of reinventing myself as a physician, I knew that the only way would be being an entrepreneur: doing my private practice and serving my patients my way, with no specific system on top of me.

Regina Campbell: That comes like a dream, I can imagine.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: And I knew it was a lot to do, but God, I did underestimate it. I absolutely underestimated the path of an entrepreneur. Today I say I would do 10 medical schools before entrepreneurship, which is the university of life. It is an amazing path for any human, and it requires a lot of courage, a lot of intention and motivation, and this is where I am right now. I don't know what your next question about entrepreneurship is, but I can go on and on about this.

Regina Campbell: I think you're pointing out what I've seen too. I'm Generation X, and it seemed to be linear: you do this, and you do this, and you get to this career. That's not the way life has been. And with more businesses being created, whether it's a law firm, a clothing store, perfume, makeup, anything traditional... a lot of people don't actually think of law firms as businesses, but they are. So is a medical practice.

And it's no longer about putting your chair there, having your stethoscope, taking blood and telling them A, B and C, and this is how it is. To me, the world has moved toward being more holistic. The complexities of being a woman, and the complexities of medicine itself, have significantly increased in the last several decades, and I find some doctors have not gone there. They have the more traditional practice: you come in, they take the blood, they follow these specific guidelines. And that's no knock on anybody else. There are always good doctors. I just mean it seems to be more of a stoic, traditional process versus a holistic process, and I think you have brought that entrepreneurial side out. You said there is more to people. There is more to someone's health, more to understanding the dynamics, so that we can make our lives better. And I think your entrepreneurial side was probably very tough to bring out of your shell in the medical world, so to speak, right?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It was like I didn't have an option. I didn't expect it, but I didn't have an option. I said, "I'm the doctor. It's easy for me. I know what I know. I'm just going to put it together and give the service." Well, in that book of entrepreneurship, my medical knowledge was not even the first chapter. It was the introduction, the first two pages of the introduction. Everything else behind the scenes, creating a business that delivers your service to perfection, requires so many other factors that I wasn't trained for. I didn't spend 10 seconds of my life on how to deal with the financial part or the marketing part, especially now, in this world with social media.

Social media for me was like, "This is cheesy. I'm not going to do that." But guess what? It's the only way you can reach a lot of people at the same time. And I'm learning. This is all taught by our children, the Gen Zs: be natural, be authentic, and pass on the message. This is where I think social media is very, very beneficial, for me as a doctor at least, because a decade ago Dr. Google was taking most of my time while I cleaned up the noise that patients were bringing to my table.

I wanted to talk about adaptation, because as a woman, and as a Type A personality like we are, we are doing careers that... I don't want to use the word "prestige," because really it's not about prestige. It's about how much effort it requires, and it's an effort beyond the books. It's an effort of proving yourself. It's an effort of fighting your imposter syndrome. It's an effort of explaining to your male counterpart that you are as capable as they are. So in all this process, I built myself up like an armor, but I forgot the little details. And this is what entrepreneurship is showing me: it shows me my weaknesses before it shows me my strengths. But I'm enjoying the process.

Regina Campbell: Yeah.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: I'm free.

Imposter syndrome and believing in yourself

Regina Campbell: Yes. I was an entrepreneur since I was very young, actually, before I became a lawyer. I had four businesses before I decided to go to law school. And in every business I've ever done, including a law firm, it is literally cutting your teeth: banging your face against the floor, falling, tripping, getting back up again, assuming you have no idea what you're doing, and then realizing, "Wow, I got that right. Oh wait, I can learn it this way. Oh, this is why this doesn't work." But there's no one there to explain it to you. And the market changes so fast, whether it's competition, or new technology comes out, or new concepts, new things that arrive in the court systems, or, in the medical field I'm sure, new knowledge. How do you seize that? How do you change with it? How do you get people to realize that you're on top of it?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It's very hard.

Regina Campbell: There's no little book that says, "She is number one in this," or "She has this information you don't come across." The only way you do sometimes is through social media and videos, and people seeing the authenticity you bring that is very different from anybody else. But what you see on camera... you have no idea what's going on behind the scenes: the sweat, the blood. I can tell you, from my clients, from my prior history and experience with companies, building them and selling them off, and from having my law firm and the clients I represent: there is not one client who hasn't bled for their company, who doesn't stress every day and night and wonder, "Regina, did I do that right? Did I do that wrong? Why didn't this happen?" They question themselves, and they have imposter syndrome.

I have yet to meet a successful person, one who continues to have success, who doesn't have that syndrome. There's something about it: "Oh my God, I did this with my first company. I can never do this again. It was luck, how I fell into that." I think they forget the 15-hour days. They forget how they believed in themselves, and that they made a distinction and did it differently from everybody else. That's why they stood out. They could have created a hundred-million-dollar company and they're still questioning themselves. They could have created a whole new product: "Oh, I could never do it again. It must have been luck."

So imposter syndrome is very hard on oneself, because you doubt yourself and wonder if you'll ever do it again. But there's a part of it, an anxiety to it, that says, "No, you know what? I'm going to figure this out again. I'm not going to stop here." Remember my determination, my perfectionism. In some ways that can be good and bad, leaning toward burnout sometimes. We'll talk about that in a moment. But you're saying to yourself, "Oh, I can't, I can't," and you can, because you've already done it. So why should you ever doubt that?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Correct.

Regina Campbell: So when you feel that, what gets you through it? Not just from a health point of view, but as a woman, as a person. What gets you through to push through?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. It's a complex question. Is it a personality trait, someone who is more of an overachiever or an achiever? Or is it someone who has so much insight that they understand you are able to do the impossible if you believe in it? We put these beliefs in our mind, and once we believe them, we do it.

Regina Campbell: That's it, we're doing it, and you put your head down. I think that's a lot of it. "It's impossible, but I want that."

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yeah. Elite athletes are actually trained for that, right? They can visualize exactly what they're about to do, perfectly, and they're able to achieve it. That's one thing that is making us evolve a lot in how much we're able to perform. Thirty years ago we used to say only 10% of our brain was really working at capacity. I think today we are at least at 15%, because if we compare athletes from the 1980s to now, those two tennis players wouldn't be able to have a match. You put it in your mind and you believe it, truthfully, and then you execute it.

Regina Campbell: Well, the determination to execute it, and the consistency, and the drive, and the belief, and that dream. I think about the ice skaters going on right now in the Olympics. Before, you did a double axel or whatever, and it was "wow." Now they're doing triples and quads, things that were just unheard of. At one point someone said that was impossible, and they said, "Well, let's see," and they pushed those boundaries.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. The psychology behind it, right? There are special psychologists and psychiatrists for sports, and this is the idea: making you believe that the impossible becomes possible. And this is one thing that entrepreneurship is showing you.

Regina Campbell: Absolutely. And it's going to give you that doctoral program real fast.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: But it's not easy, and it's not luck. It is sweat, blood and tears. Every time I bring up how much I've been suffering, if there are entrepreneurs at the table listening to me, they look at me and say, "We all suffer. Oh, you sold all your assets to open your clinic and you don't have a penny right now? That's entrepreneurship. Welcome to the sisterhood." And I'm like, "Oh, okay." And then there's the other side of the coin, the non-entrepreneurs: "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. How can I help?"

So, my observations since I've been an entrepreneur, which is three years already. First: yes, sweat, blood and tears.

Regina Campbell: And sacrifice.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: And sacrifice, and falls, and days of not sleeping. I normally sleep like a baby, and now it's like this is stealing my sleep. But also a lot of meditation, a lot of self-cleansing, knowing that I am capable of doing whatever I want as long as I have it clear and can focus on it. And then I do the famous baby steps, right? Atomic habits, baby steps toward a goal, but that goal has to be perfectly defined. So that's the first thing I see in entrepreneurship.

Second: you're not alone. Entrepreneurs feel very lonely, because they are the founders and they start everything by themselves. But because we all go through this, we create community, and I'm seeing other founders helping. The ones who are already successful, the money comes from there, and they can fund you, and it becomes a community. So I'm enjoying this, despite...

Regina Campbell: One of the things with venture capitalists, or anyone who wants to invest in a company, whether you know them or not: what they look at is that passion, that drive. Are you a true entrepreneur underneath? Because they know you're going to push that vision, and that their money is safe with you when you have that kind of vision. It's always a risk when an investor takes a chance on you, but they see the power and the passion behind you, versus a lackluster "Yeah, I'm going to create this, maybe." Everyone wants that power, that kick that an entrepreneur has, that drive.

And I think that's where you go back to finding the community. I can't tell you how many entrepreneurs have said to me, "Do you know how many millions I lost before I got to this?"

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Exactly.

Regina Campbell: "Do you know how many times I've fallen, gotten back up, sworn I would not get back up again, and gotten back up 10 times stronger?" And a lot of that is also listening to each other and learning from each other: "Oh, you went through that? I had something similar, and this happened to me." So I think you're right about community. But that didn't exist before. And you came from Colombia to the United States. That's even more impressive, that you did this.

Culture, adaptation and the American dream

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. I've been a traveler of the world since a very early age. I was born and grew up in Colombia, and I have my Latino culture, and I love it. I'm very proud of it. Although my family was a little bit of an outcast: my father was very open-minded, very European-minded. So that paternalistic, male-dominated world, I really didn't feel it until I was in medical school. Before that, it was only my sister and me, so we were basically all women in the house. It was only after that that I was in this environment, and I adapted and learned how to survive in it. But many things were taken as normal, until now, when we're starting to see things. Unfortunately, there are a lot of scandals coming out where things were not normal, not the way they're supposed to be.

I understand that we didn't vote until the 1920s. Sorry, the 1920s was the first time it was accepted, but we didn't vote until the 1960s, because that's what the world was. But still, it is time to move forward, to see how we don't have to be against each other as genders, and be more a part of a community, because there's a lot to learn from them. There is biology behind it, and that's very important. We're still in the process, and our evolutionary biology hasn't caught up yet to where we see each other as equals. We think differently, but so do many other personalities.

I'm a minority. I came from a third-world country to this country, and I have to confess, I don't have the story of "Oh my God, it was so difficult to break all this." I understand some say the American dream doesn't exist, but from my perspective, the way I see the world, it exists, because it gave me the opportunity. This is the country where I bring my passion and my efforts, and I'm ready to go that extra mile, and it gives back. At least that's my story. It is not a country where everything is easy and everything falls from the trees. Absolutely not. But it's a country where your effort can be given back to you.

Regina Campbell: It can make a difference.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It can make a difference. You can almost quantify how much effort you put in and how much you will receive in a country like this one. It is more difficult in other countries where the system is not as well established, where other interests control it.

I always thought that I was a very good student. Was I accepted at Harvard? No. Maybe if I'd been born in this country I would be a Harvard graduate. But in retrospect, I don't need it. I'm comfortable with all my academics. I did my pediatrics in New York, in a hospital associated with Cornell University, and that opened a lot of doors for me. Everything in retrospect gives you an idea of why it happened to you, and I have to say it has been easy. Opening a bank account was more complicated, absolutely, but there are always ways to do it.

Have I been judged because I have an accent? Absolutely. Nothing bothers me more than when I stand up to speak and I can see everybody's faces not paying attention to what I'm saying, but going, "What accent? She has an accent. What is it?" Someone who teaches public speaking told me, "Just stop and say, 'Hey everybody, if you're wondering, I am from Colombia,' and then talk about your topic, and they'll concentrate on what you're saying." But all of this is imposter syndrome in the end.

I felt welcome. Again, I don't want to use the word "lucky," but I'm a person who is open and authentic, and people can relate to that. I adapt. I worked in Oregon, in a very conservative, religious place, and I still felt very welcome there. I never felt out of place. I've lived in different countries. I lived in Bermuda for 10 years, a very special place, with people from many different countries, and the dynamics between Bermudians, non-Bermudians and expats are very special too. I adapted to that as well. So I always felt welcome and part of the community. But community has to come from you.

Life isn't linear

Regina Campbell: It has to. So clearly this world is not linear, right?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It is not.

Regina Campbell: You don't just go to school, then go to this office, then go here. My experience is the same, and I don't find most people's experiences to be linear. In the past, you might go to school, get a degree and be in a job for 30 years. Nowadays, that company went out of business, or it doesn't work for you, or they have no growth for you, and you're changing, adapting or reskilling yourself, whether in a job or by creating a new company. It's not linear, and I think a lot of people don't understand that. Particularly the younger generation: they feel like if they don't do this by this date, and that by that date, everything is destroyed or is going to go horribly.

Not at all. It's all part of the process. Each step takes you where you need to go. When one door closes, three more open. You have to have that positive mindset to realize, "I feel a direction. This is where I'm supposed to go. This is where I'm supposed to be." Even if you feel a little lost. Like you said, entrepreneurs feel lonely sometimes, like, "Am I the only one in the world thinking this way?" And then before you know it, another door opens, or someone talks to you about something, and you go, "Okay, this is normal," and it pushes you through. I think it's very important for people to realize that, like you said, your life is up and down, not linear, and yet it brings you here with all of your experiences collectively.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. And in that "linear" path we imagined when we were young, there are the extras: Mother Nature, being a mother...

Regina Campbell: And being a wife, or being in a relationship too.

Burnout and balance

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Being a daughter, and taking care of our friends. I'm bringing this into the recipe of entrepreneurship because we think entrepreneurship is only about your career and the business you're creating, but it's not. It's your whole world. I really identify myself with my company, even though I teach my kids, "Don't identify yourself with what you do in life. You have to identify with the human you are, and what you do is just extra." But my company is who I am, because I'm bringing my soul into it, and my soul includes my well-being.

So as an entrepreneur, I have to take care of myself, because, talking about sweat, tears and blood, there is the burnout factor, on the body and on the mind. I don't want to go too medical, but burnout is a reality. It's not something the millennials invented to take some PTO. It is a reality, and it's something we take seriously in medicine. It is a diagnosis. It is the body shutting down from so much trauma, trauma being defined as something that pushes your sympathetic system to toxic levels for so long, in a chronic way, that the rest of your system starts shutting down to protect you, and you are burned out.

For some people it's obvious; for some people it's not. The more you're in denial, the more you're an overachiever, the more you're Type A, the more you're going to close that door and say, "I am not burned out." But there are signs, and there's mild burnout and there's very severe burnout. Obviously, it's a process. It happens in entrepreneurship, in the process of trying to achieve your goals, of falling and falling and failing. Failing is part of entrepreneurship, and we understand all that. But it comes with all these open wounds. It's not until they close and become scars that you say, "Okay, now I'm tougher. Now I have a callus." In that process, of course, you burn out. You lose faith in yourself. Even if you're passionate, that passion is going to go down. Me moving my hands, and my tone going down, vibrating lower: that's maybe me going a little bit into burnout.

So I have to accept that I'm still human. Even if I'm an entrepreneur and I feel free to make my decisions, I still have to take care of myself, and to take care of myself I have to take time apart, and recognize my own weaknesses.

Regina Campbell: Yeah. Particularly, talking about Women's Month and women's health too: entrepreneurs come at different times. Some people decide to open businesses and become entrepreneurs a little later, in their 40s or 50s. Some do it in their 20s and 30s, and there are different demands on your life at each time. If you're younger, you might be trying to have children at the same time. So if a project is not doing well or is failing, you have other responsibilities at the same time and can't give it the same amount of attention. You can have ailing parents. You can have other things going on. If you're married, you have to attend to your partner too. They're not just going to go away for three or four years while you pursue your dream, so to speak, nor do you want them to. Hopefully they're a big part of your life, helping and supporting you. But you have to reciprocate as well.

So there are other poles in our lives, and one of them is health. If we try to keep everything at a 10 at all times, I assume you're going to have physical ailments, mental challenges, depression, all these weird things coming out, right? So you really need to take care of yourself. You need to eat well. You do need to exercise. You have to find the time, because I think that's actually part of being a successful entrepreneur. There's no point in you burning out like a star, with nothing left at the end.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Correct.

Regina Campbell: You accomplish it, or you're near accomplishing it, and you burn out. It doesn't make sense. You're not going to enjoy what you built or be able to evolve it. So again, that balance. I think life is purposely meant to limit us. We're not computers, so we're not supposed to just keep going. We don't just put gas in and keep going. Even mechanical equipment requires replacement parts.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Correct.

Regina Campbell: So you have to keep that balance. There's no point in accomplishing some of these dreams, or trying to, and meanwhile you're fighting with your children all the time, or going through a divorce because of it, or you're falling apart and having a mental breakdown. It's not going to help.

Holistic medicine and being heard as a patient

Regina Campbell: That's why I thought it was so important to bring you on, not only for your experience as an entrepreneur, but also for your background in health and lifestyle. She's also known as Dr. D, but honestly, I think she should be Dr. House, because you say "this hurts at 12 o'clock on a Thursday," and somehow she figures out what this weird thing is. She's about the entire understanding: not just your body, what your blood tests say, what your history is and what your pain is. She's also observing you, your mannerisms, your behavior, what might be stressing you out, what's going on in your life. You're looking at other elements outside of just a particular area of the body. You're looking at it holistically, which I think is so incredibly unique, particularly in the medical field.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: And so needed. You brought up holistic medicine before and I didn't comment, but I think it's where medicine should go, period. Why did we have to divide medicine into all these different kinds? "Oh, I'm allopathic. I'm functional. I'm an acupuncturist." Why don't we combine all these things and see what has some science and data behind it? Absolutely, evidence-based. That's who I am. But things don't always need to be written in an article to really work for someone. As long as you do no harm, which is actually our principle in everything, it's okay to start exploring all these other techniques and ways of healing, to not be judgmental from our traditional medical background, and to meet the patient where they are.

So yes, I am very holistic. It makes me a better person for myself. Obviously it makes me a better doctor, because, first, I'm listening, and second, I'm not seeing the human as a physical body. I'm seeing the human as the whole package, the whole environment, the whole universe: from the DNA, which is your inside, all the way out to your spiritual life and the community that surrounds you.

Regina Campbell: Yes. And toxic substances. We're exposed to toxic environments, right?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: I try not to get stressed about it. I always divide things into those we can control and those we cannot. The things we can control, absolutely, let's put a hand on them. The things we cannot control, we have to let go and be...

Regina Campbell: And learn how to work with them or deal with them.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Exactly. Creating anxiety out of the pollution outside my window, "I'm just going to die of lung cancer," is not going to help at all. It is not a perfect world. It is not a perfect Mother Earth. It used to be a beautiful planet, but it's finite.

Regina Campbell: It's finite. Its resources are finite.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It's happening, but we cannot get stuck on it and be anxious. So that's a holistic way to see medicine. I'm actually a very important financial advisor, because I'm taking care of your health, and health is wealth. It's actually the most important asset you have. So of course, if you're giving me that asset, I'm going to treat it well, and I want to make sure you multiply it as much as possible, or whatever we can't multiply, we keep it, and keep it well. This is how I see medicine.

I do believe in science. I consider myself an allopathic doctor, but an allopathic doctor who questions the status quo and really believes that many things that are not written in my books can still work. My patients actually teach me a lot, and I love that. I try a lot of things my patients tell me about: "Hey, I gave this a try, it was fantastic, look at my new collagen brand." And I'm like, "Oh, I want to try that," and it actually works.

Regina Campbell: Yes, it does. You look fantastic. And that's what I like. Most doctors, when I explain to them... I'm complicated. I have hypermobility, and other issues that go on. I'm a complicated kind of person, and I can't tell you how many people just dismiss me. Meanwhile, when I was younger, my migraines were not fixed by the seven different medicines they tried to put me on. They were fixed by acupuncture. I don't understand it, but it does work.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Of course.

Regina Campbell: There are things we can try. And as patients, we're noticing things, and sometimes doctors are not listening to us. I know some of us might just be complaining, and I get that too. But we're being dismissed too easily sometimes. "Okay, you gave me this medicine, but now this hurts, or that hurts." "That's the other guy. Go over there." And sometimes you look at the interactions between medicines, or how they affect the systems, and you go, "Wow." I'm not suggesting you take this from the internet, by the way, but when I do a little reading, you might see that some studies show an intersection between these things, and I'm like, "Why didn't the doctor know that? Did they ignore it?" I can't possibly know. I'm not a doctor. I'll never be able to figure that out. But I can see some relationships, and I appreciate that you listen to that.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: But it requires time. Listening to a patient requires time. And I have to advocate for my colleagues, who are in a system where they have to see a patient every 10 to 15 minutes. "If I just fixed your left shoulder, please don't tell me your right shoulder hurts too, because I don't have time for that." I'm sure it has to be painful for them as well, if they're practicing medicine for the right reasons. This is not the way we dreamed of practicing medicine. The system is really limiting the way we think and the way we treat our patients. Listening is not an option anymore. We want to ask not open questions but yes-and-no questions, because a yes or no takes less time to answer. That burns people out too. I tell my patients sometimes that we doctors burn out just from that. Everything that goes against your purpose will burn you out eventually, even if you try to block it. That's what's happening with the system, and the patients feel it.

So who's the one who listens? Unfortunately, it's us, the private doctors, who have to charge money and are out of the insurance network, because the insurance companies are also limiting us and making policies on us. I can sit down with you for an hour and listen to you, and I feel better at night because I got all the information I wanted. And I don't know everything. By the way, I take it very seriously when a patient brings me their own research and says, "I saw this." Sometimes, you know what, they were right. Some things can be a little bit of garbage.

Regina Campbell: But the thing is, we don't know the difference. Of course, don't ever Google your symptoms. That's hard, because you come up with 50 million of them, and then you're more freaked out. But I do understand the desire to do it sometimes. I can't say I don't, but she would kill me if I did. I might look at a connection, not just Google it, so to speak. Someone did this, and this happened to somebody else. And then you say, "Hey, Re, let me look into that. I wonder if that's specific to that person, or maybe there's something else that person is doing that we don't know about." But you'll look and see if there's a benefit to it, and whether it's suitable for me. I assume you're the same with all your patients. That's important. And you're right, I didn't think of that: we have a system that doesn't allow for that kind of communication.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It doesn't, and it's burning all of us. There's also the side of medicine where there are a lot of egos behind that white coat. We forget that it's about the patient in the end. It's not about us, our knowledge, and who's proving us wrong. It's a recipe that is not working right now, but things have to change. I'm starting to see a shift in the new doctors, the millennial doctors. They operate differently from the way the boomers operate. Like the doctors we were talking about, who wouldn't accept being questioned, whose ego is too high: "Do not question me." That's not holistic. "I'm the doctor," and paternalistic medicine takes over. Although that's out of fashion now. Patients are empowered enough to say, "I don't want to go see this doctor." That generation is slowly going away.

Regina Campbell: I am finding some innovation in the medical field, but it's coming as a result of doctors like you, who are looking to create a different system, or a better system, whether in the particular area they work in, or a particular process. I do see more of that innovation happening in medicine.

Women supporting women

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. And I belong to a few groups of fantastic women. I belong to a group of women in medicine who all think like me. They were the ones who introduced me to lifestyle medicine, and they showed me that the dream can come true and that I could continue practicing medicine the way I love it. Because we women really pick each other up from the floor and push each other in the right direction. I also belong to a new group of women executives who are all entrepreneurs. They've been in entrepreneurship for the past 30 years, so they see me as an amateur.

Regina Campbell: The baby.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. And I'm super open to all their opinions. But there's no condescension toward me at all. On the contrary, it's like, "Yeah, it hurts. We know. But keep going."

Regina Campbell: And you're like, "But there's a wall there." And they're like, "Keep going. You're going to go through the wall and turn left." And you're like, "Huh?" And sure enough, they were right. Obviously you're not physically going through a wall, but they're saying that even if it looks impossible, keep going. If that's where your instincts are telling you to go, keep walking, and turn left or right or wherever it tells you to go from there. Sometimes that's the way it has to be. You are often creating a new path, and that's what entrepreneurship is. You're creating something that most of the time did not exist, and you're finding it. It's like exploration.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It is. And the more innovative you are, the more your picture becomes reality, and even more colorful, which is amazing, because all this comes from the right brain, right? Your artistic brain, your innovator brain, the brain that has ideas, the brain that is very well developed when you're a kid, because you can imagine and invent your games. An entrepreneur needs that right brain; otherwise you're like a flat line. Or if you don't create your niche... everybody says, "Yeah, but what's your niche? What's your why? You need more juice." And I'm always questioning myself. And the last thing is that there is never an end point.

Regina Campbell: It continues.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: It continues. So either you settle into the idea that it's going to be a never-ending walk ahead, or a zigzag if you want, because it's not a straight line. It's a roller coaster: not a zigzag on a flat plane, but up and down. Unless reaching a point is your goal: you ride to a point and then you sell, or you pass it over, and maybe your dream is just to retire in Mallorca.

Regina Campbell: That's rare. It's rare for entrepreneurs, because even when they're retiring, somehow they're creating a business in Mallorca, a little thing on the side, a stand, and you're like, "What? I thought you were retiring." And they're like, "Well, I'm just having a little bit of fun." The right brain doesn't want to retire. To them, it's not work at that point.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. It's like a painter. A painter doesn't retire. A painter continues creating. A musician continues...

Regina Campbell: They get purpose from doing that, from continuing to create and accomplish.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Exactly.

Regina Campbell: To all you women out there, on behalf of us as women as well: we're here. We're together. We're strong. And we celebrate you.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: We celebrate you. You're not alone.

Three takeaways for women founders

Regina Campbell: So, as we wrap this up, I'd like to have a couple of takeaways. What would be your top three tips for our audience?

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Yes. For my women out there, on Women's Month: first and foremost, please take care of yourself. Don't forget about your well-being. Prioritize it. Don't let it go until it's too late. Burnout has little cues. It's not that you can't come back from burnout, but the more severe it is, the more time and effort it will take. So don't take your health for granted, and don't take your good mental health for granted. Even beyond your family, it should be you. You put the oxygen mask on yourself before the rest.

Regina Campbell: Yes.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: The second important point, after this whole conversation, is about making your dreams real. They are dreams, but everything starts with a dream and then becomes an action. Go for it. Don't let gender, age, country, laws, restrictions or policies... stay legal, please, obviously, but don't let anything stop you from your vision. Don't stay on that flat line and be dead alive. Many philosophers talk about that: you can live for a hundred years, but be dead until you die.

And the last part: believe in yourself. Imposter syndrome might make you make, I would say, stupid decisions sometimes, and this comes from me. You can learn from it, and you don't have to make the same mistakes. For example: don't sell yourself short. Don't say yes to everything just because you're desperate. Trust your intuition. The answers are there. If you're feeling uncomfortable with something, just stop and think about it. Don't say yes, and don't allow it. Those would be my three takeaways for any woman who is listening and most probably identifying with our situation in life.

Legal red flags for founders

Regina Campbell: Yes. And from more of a legal perspective, I agree with that. Be careful. What I usually find is when someone is trying to push you into a response or into a position: "Hurry up. This is a great deal. I'm going to take it off the table right away," or "These terms are going to be gone unless you agree to this." This is a little bit more paperwork-y, so to speak. But when I see people being pushed into a bad situation: use your red flag. Especially if you're not familiar with what you're doing, they're going to try to take advantage of the fact that you're an amateur. And even successful entrepreneurs, when they go into a new area or a new industry, are still amateurs in that respect, or in the new product or project they're doing.

It's easy for someone with more experience, or who just has bad intentions, to take advantage of you, whether it's trying to take more of your company than they should at the beginning, trying to catch you off guard, or trying to steal some of your ideas, your innovation, your employees, your potential trademarks, anything you've created at all. Be very careful with someone pushing you too fast, too far, too quickly. If they don't want to sit down and put something in writing, or clarify something, it's usually a red flag. There's usually a problem there.

People also want to take advantage of you. I know it sounds kind of funny, but if you do have a new idea or a new concept, you want to use confidentiality agreements to make sure someone cannot use your idea when you're pitching it. You might be pitching to someone to get them to be an employee and help you build your dream, or to an investor. Be careful. They have to sign a confidentiality agreement, because if they don't, they can steal your idea, or it becomes questionable where it arose from.

Don't give away too much too fast, which is always a really hard thing, because when you're starting a business you always have capital problems, right? At the beginning, you're usually not making any money or revenue while you're building a service or a product. So how do you scale? How do you get to market? How do you do marketing? You have no money. Okay, you have to raise capital. You usually start with family and friends first, then initial investor rounds. But as your business becomes more capital-intensive, you have to be careful how you're funding it, whether through debt or equity, and on what terms you're giving it away. Overall, you're giving away more control of the company, potentially losing your ability, as the founder and the visionary, to do certain things.

And there are some people who are looking to just get out early. They make a little bit of money, and they want to put you in a bad spot and try to sell the company off before it's fully ripe. You want to make sure the investors you let in are aligned with you, in line with your vision, not just looking for a quick payday, or to sell you for scrap, so to speak. That's a little more forceful, but that's the truth. And if your instincts are telling you something's wrong, you're probably right.

Never let anybody belittle you or make you think you know less because you're a woman, or because you're young. I started very young and I got that a lot, and I would just smile at them, being very polite and diplomatic, basically thinking, "I don't care what you think," and I would go on thinking the way I was going to. Right or wrong, sometimes I might have made mistakes, but they were going to be my mistakes to own, and I understood them better than if someone had pushed me or scared me into something. So I think it's really important to believe in yourself. That doesn't mean you don't listen and learn from people. You should listen to people's experiences and watch what other people have done and learned. But don't let anybody ever bring you down or make you feel inferior, or like you don't know what you're doing. Always believe in yourself. I think it's very, very important.

Closing

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Well, I love your legal advice. I took notes on those little pieces of legal advice. As an entrepreneur, that's super important. You see, this is a chapter in that big entrepreneurship book that you never think you're going to need, especially as a doctor. I was like, "Yeah, right. I just need my malpractice insurance and that's it." It's a full chapter on the legal part.

Regina Campbell: Oh yes, definitely. And hopefully these are some tips that can help you. Reach out to other professionals and other women, and that doesn't mean you don't reach out to men too, but know that you're not alone, and you can learn so much in this world right now. Build a community of people who are like you, and you will feed off each other, share with each other, and make each other stronger.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: I love that. What a beautiful conversation. Thank you for having me. I could have these conversations with you 100 times.

Regina Campbell: Thank you for coming on the show. I'm so happy. It's such a pleasure, such a unique gift, to have Dr. D, whom I'm going to start calling Dr. House, with us today. Hopefully this is our celebration of women everywhere: in our past, and in our present, who have struggled and gone through so many things and are doing very well. And also to our mothers, our sisters, our grandmothers...

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Our sisters in general in this world, right? Not just by blood.

Regina Campbell: No, exactly. We are there for you.

Dr. Paola D'Aleman: Sisters out there, yes, we're there for you.

Regina Campbell: And we celebrate you this month. We celebrate women.